Review #7: Mr. California & the State Police - I'm Gonna Kick You in the Head

Year: 2002
Genre: Noise
Label: Peer Pressure Zombie Records
Tracks: 52
My Rating: 7/8

Mr. California & the State Police is a one man band consisting of Terry Ryan. The album's tracks are short (some barely even 5 seconds long), played with guitar, keyboard and a drum machine with some electronic sounds. Sounds insane, but it's genious. The Vinyl disc which this was released on, has a beautiful light blue color.

1. I'm Gonna Kick You in the Head
Starts with the drum machine hitting few times then hits with the fast guitar playing. The lyrics seem to say "I'm Gonna Kick You in the Head, one more time, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, till you're dead" it's catchy. The song lasts 35 seconds

2. In The Red
This is hard to describe. Alot of electronic rhytyms and you can barely hear any word he sings

3. Liquor Store
Fast song. Can't understand every word he says except that he wants more liquor.

4. Tamborine Fantasy
It's about a mommy who was a gypsy and a daddy who was a hippie, who robbed places.

5. Fight The Power
Starts with a guitar riff which reminds me of 80s metal bands. The whole song sounds like a piss take of a Mötley Crue song. Suddenly a weird, trippy electronic keyboard solo kicks in and after that the song continues "fight fight fight the poweeeerrah" then ends with a long scream.

6. Punk Rock Aerobics
What the hell is that? Makes me imagine punk rockers, who dress like The Casualties with their 2 feet tall blue mohawks, doing aerobics in front of a tv set.

7. The Snake
"Excuse me, this song is about boredom (or porno?), this song is about greed, this song is about katastrophy". Then he sings few lines and says "Alright thats it what more do you want from me?" and ends.

8. Triumph
Punk rock song with electronic keyboards sound awesome. Can't understand what hes singing, but seems like the songs about loneliness.

9. Go Away
Terry Ryan can write really funny and good songs with a good songstructure and this is one of them. This song is angry.

10. Sacrificed
Really punk rock

11. C'mere Kitty Kitty
Weird

12. Teaching Physics on the Dance Floor
Fast

13. Batman
Starts with a muddy, grungy guitar riff, he sings "Batmaaan" few times then it' over after like 5 seconds

14. Bitch Bitch Bitch
Hilarious

15. Genie In A Bottle
Short

16. The Return Of Jackie And Judy
A Ramones cover, but it's about 100 times shorter than any Ramones song. He sings just the first line of the song

17. Pig Eye Poison
The voice sound like a fat wood goblin

18. Tiny Dick
Weird and short

19. Mohawk Hater
This song is funny. "Theres one thing to keep in mind, guys with mohawks are still long hairs, they might have soap in their hair, they might have vaseline in their hair, but they are still fucking hippies. Get out the razorblade motherfucker!"

20. Poser
Funny lyrics "God, i love superman's blood", "Been kicked out of 50 bands, but fuck it man i've got plans", The chorus goes: "Please don't call me poseeeeer". "My ego is as big as my erection and you haven't seen my misfits collection", "My life is beer and fashion"... etc

21. Black Flag Tattoo
I was gonna get a Black Flag tattoo, but i saw that so many people have it so it wouldn't be that special. The song doesn't say anything about if he hates black flag tattoos or not, he just sings "Black Flag Tattoo" like 3 times and thats it.

22. Crosstown Traffic
Weird

23. Glue
Hmm

24. Long Way Home
"Take your hat and jack it off, cause it's a looong wayyyyy hoooome, motherfucker"

25. Vegan Delight
Some woman talks about vegetarians being moralists, with a noisy background sound. At the end the woman says "We'll lock you up forever". I was a vegetarian for about a year or so, it didn't work out that well eventually, cause i got tired and mad for eating vegetables everyday and i was so hungry. I know now theres plenty other stuff i could have aten and still be a vegetarian...

26. High Five
Slow song. He sings something about dropping the keys in the bong and then fishing them out.

27. My Sharona
The Knack cover? Can't tell, but who cares? Lasts about 8 seconds. Just few guitar strums and it's over.

28. The Duck Song
This is one of the best songs on the album. Apparently he just plays his keyboard and makes it sound like a duck. How cool is that?

29. Filet O'Soul
Has some guy talking on it and he says a phone number and "It's a kiss my ass monday" (maybe you know him, i don't cause i live in Finland). Some guy calls in and dedicates "kiss my ass" to his mother. What a badass. Then the song kicks in. The same song format as the other ones.

30. Rikki Lake
Sounds like he wants to kill Rikki Lake

31. Cinnamon Roll
Some woman calls and wants to say to Betty Ford (?) to kiss my ass and wants the radioguy to play Lynyrd Skynyrd's Free Bird for her... Then the song kicks in. Alot of keyboard beats and the drum machine which he always uses.

32. The Donkey Song
The start sounds like some DJ scratching few times then a trashy drums kick in and he sings something and says "Emo sucks". It does.

33. David Lee Roth
Another wood goblin low-pitched singed song. Lasts few seconds all he sings is "David Lee Roth"

34. Rise Up
Kool. Ends with some woman saying "In order for you to help your children to resist the pressure to use drugs, you must remember, that the children need positive role-models". What a load of crap. You can't hide the reality!

35. Microphone
Good point: stick a microphone up your ass. Proboably dedicated to that woman in the previous song.

36. Tales Of A Miserable Genre
Stupid. Someone calls the radio show again and says kiss my ass to some pizza delivery guy.

37. Team Player
Fast

38. Look At That Ass
lol
At the end theres another phone call and the guy wants to say kiss my ass to his wife Wendy "'cause she ain't giving me none of that".

39. Hey Officer
"Hey officer, the junkies gonna rape me, Hey officer, the junkies gonna catch me". Song seems to be about telling a cop somethings wrong and the pig doing nothing about it.

40. Not Enough
aight. All the songs who i can't think anything to say about seem to end in a phone call where some redneck calls to the radio show. this is another one of them, but this guy says that those "Rebels" are scumbags.

41. Dooooooshd
Dooshd Dooshd Dooshd


42. Disco Jesus
Disco song, with a funky bass.

43. Politics = Bullshit
Trashy and short. Yeah the politics went a bit like shit 'cause the economy went as it went and alot of people lost their jobs, including many of my family members. Mostly women for some reason. Still i wouldn't ever want John Mccain to be the president instead. What a liar. Anyway i don't feel like talking about politics right now and i'm just gonna sound stupid if i do now so ds90gu+gsudg0sd¨+g+0sdgj0+gj.

44. Submit
Noisy. Another phone call at the end of a song idk how to describe.

45. Butterfly
"I'm a butterfly, i will bite your head off toniiight". At the end another phone call and says that the USA government is all about making money. Yeah pretty much, when Bush was still on charge... "And for those who don't know what the wars were all about can kiss my ass" (he says).

46. Piss On Progress
haha some redneck calls and says "kiss my white rebel ass". Thats all.

47. For Grampa
I bet his grampa loved this. Another phone call in the end "Yeah i'd like to tell all those hibbercommentens and arkansansuch neuhort to kiss my big butt". I have no idea what he meant. The Radio guy always answers to the calls as "Okay thank you" like if he wouldn't hear what they have to say either.

48. Give It Up
A mess. Groovey. Someone calls to the radio show and wants to say kiss my ass to all the anarchists and communists who he thinks are the same. Smart guy

49. The Doggy Song
the song goes like this: wawawawawawaa bauwaurufruf

50. Hot Coffee
oooo

51. Diva
yeah the song title says what its about... a woman saying in the song "I fucking like me" over and over again. At the end guess what? ANOTHER PHONE CALL!! and this time the caller doesn't know that hes on kiss my ass monday and he asks them to connect him to that line and the radio guy says "well your on it", he doesn't hear it and he asks them to connect him again, and then the radioguy who has no patience just screams aaaaaaaa!!!!
52. Finale
Wasn't that just beautiful? a woman says something like "press the red button with you left foot and squeeze the handbrake with your right hand, we're coming to a red light and a red light meaaaanssssSTOP".