Review #10: Tales Of Terror - Tales Of Terror

Year: 1984
Genre: Punk Rock
Label: CD Presents
Tracks: LP version has 12 tracks, the casette version has 13
My Rating: 8/8

Tales Of Terror were a band from Sacramento that was active from 1982 to 1986 and they released just one self titled LP and a casette version of it and appeared on few compilation albums. They played really good noisy, drunk, nasty punk rock music and were hated by many mohawk wearing punkers and also by many many other punk rock fans who loved the Dead Kennedys for example. The same happened with Flipper. They just were so of its own kind that even some punk rockers couldn't accept them. I just love that kinda stuff and this album is pure art. I bet the band would hate me for saying that. The image that Tales Of Terror had was kinda horror themed and first i thought they were ripping off the Misfits. How wrong was i? These guys were more in to the not giving a fuck what anybody things attitude than the Misfits. Both great bands, but i have to say i prefer Tales Of Terror. The band had 2 guitar players. One of them, Lyon Wong got hit by a jock who punched him behind him and he fell to the pavement and hit his head on the ground and died later next morning in a hospital. The jock received just 6 months sentence. The other band members, Vocals And Other Organs done by Rat's Ass (Pat Stratford), bassist Jeff Magner, aka Boots aka Dusty Coffin. He died of a drug overdose in 2004, guitarrist Steve Hunt or Trip Bender, aka Trip Mender and a drums and jokes by Mike Thorpe, aka Thumper, aka Thopper Jaw.


1. Hound Dog

You know, the original written by Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller and originally recorded by Willie Mae "Big Mama" Thornton in 1952, popularized by Elvis fucking Presley.
This is the most mean, heavy, loud and funny version of this song i've ever heard.. Alot of screaming and after the first verse of the song, Pat yells "Shut up!! SHUT UUUUPP!!!" with really raspy ass voice. Awesome start for the album.

2. That Girl
Really fast played song, but at the same time you couldn't compare them to Minor Threat for example. Just totally different thing. Starts with many fast played drum beats just like Hound Dog did. Quite a few songs on this album start like that. Maybe that was one of their gimmicks. Has really noisy solo. Packed with deep lyrics. The first verse: To many feelings, so why even try
Wouldn't it be simpler to just to die
A sick twisted feeling tearing me apart
Don't ask me to explain
I just couldn't start
Outside I'm ripped up
Inside im torn apart

3. Possession
Another crazy drum start. Then continues with a creepy guitar riff. Song seems to tell a "story" when being stoned and seeing trippy things, listening to forbidden songs and singing along. Short noise solo ends the song. Listen to this if you wanna get insane and dance like a lunatic. It's fun.

4. Deathryder
Really fast and loud again. In the song he tells about driving his car while being drunk and running over street signs and little kids (but stopping for the girls with big tits) and he doesn't seem to give a damn about the consequence:

You better get out of my way, Cause I'm the Deathryder And I'm going to live to ride another day

5. Evil
This song starts different that the earlier songs on the record. Starts with a guitar riff which kinda reminds me of the band GBH. The whole track is played with totally crazy guitar sound. Loud beating drums. Song ends with a laugh by the singer. Love and confusion seem to be the theme of the song: I don't care about you,
Why should you care about me?
You don't care for me,
Why should I care about you?

When will we ever figure it out?
We're just animals,
Peace will never work

There's too much evil
There's too much evil
There's too much evil
There's too much evil

6. 13
Guitar riff starts the song, quickly joined with the bass, then bam!!!!! it gets nuts as usual. Crazy guitar solo in the middle of the song, while the singer still sings. Pat's voice is really unique. I don't know how to describe it. The lyrics are hilarious. Head in the sink
My foot is in the toilet
Fluids from my stomach
Are moving forward

I'm a psychedelic junkie
Can't get my hair cut short
Cuz I look like a monkey
He says he's either having a bad dream or a bad acid trip and the last line goes: I just, I just wish I just wish that I was dead

7. Skate Or Bate
This is only available on the casette version and also on the compliation cd Rat Music for Rat People Vol. 2. Starts really kinda drunked. Kinda like Flipper songs would sound like. Just noisy nonsence. Over long, noisy ending to the song starts in the middle of the song. They do that rock n roll star power chord PRING ending (you know) over and over again and some random cool soloing. They play that one song with the guitar i can't remember the name of. This song has really good point and it's Promote fun, not violence, skate or bate, It makes a fuck of a lot more sense. Make skates not guns, Drop acid not bombs, Train people how to skate, Not how to go to the next Vietnam. And remember: If we all don't skate, The world's gonna end in a mess. I haven't skated forever now i really miss that even though i sucked in it.

8. Romance
Starts with a slow drum beat, but then gets all what they do the best. This melody KINDA sounds the same as in "I saw your mommy" by the Suicidal Tendencies. It's not as obvious as in the Puddle Of Mudd song... The lyrics are kinda personal to me, about a girl who played him and he loved, but is now dead.

9. Over Elvis Worship
Kinda piss take to an Elvis song. And really hilarious. Sings about having an Elvis tattoo on his cock and when the music begins, the cock starts to rock. My dad likes Elvis' songs (I know Elvis didn't write them) and this is so bad it's good, but my dad would hate this, i should play this to him.

10. Tales Of Terror
I've got a story to tell you,
It's just a little tale,
There's a story with hatred and war with no
Happy ending, Unless you deserve it
To be in your own life

Mudhoney covered this in their latest album (today) The Lucky Ones. Starts as the other guitar kinda sounds like early Metallica, while the other one is playing out of tune. The combination works well. Little bass solo near the end rear end. I have to say Tales Of Terror wrote some of the best lyrics i've ever read. Every song has a message, it's not so clear and obvious and straight forward. It tells it the scary way, the ugly way or just the way it is.

11. Jim
This was missing on the casette version. Only available on the LP version. Gets heavy and mean after the first verse. The backing vocals is sung by a cave troll. Atleast the sound of his voice sure is similiar, he could be one. Again genious lyrics about being a creepy ass stalker.

12. Chambers Of Horror
I haven't read Kurt Cobain's journals, but his top 50 favorite album list has been made pretty well known and this album was the 32nd best album on his list there. Kurt also listed this song as one of his favorite songs. anyway it starts with a deep, low bass riff. Different to other Tales songs. This is a real diamond on this album. Not as if the other songs would be nothing, they are all great. This song is about being isolated. Let the song speak for itself, heres the full lyrics:

My life is in a box, Four walls, Ceiling and floor, What time of day is it, The corner is come, Where I said no hope in store, No dope to score, Just have a deal with my own My my own mind, Kind what do I do Nightmares a million, Alone cold dark feeling, I don't know I wanna go, Out of this box, Away from here, The army says they are sorry, My family is in pain, I'm a P.O.W. locked in a box, I will never forgive them Hello, Hello I will never quite live again, Because to you I'm dead, And to me I'm dead too, God up there, If you exsits, Come and save my soul, It's dark, It's fucking dark Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello. Can you hear me? Hello, hello, Goodbye, Hello, hello, hello Hello?

13. Ozzy
Seattle "grunge icons" (what a joke that term is) Green River covered this and it's available on their Rehab Doll/Dry as a Bone CD. A creepy beginning again. Love that. Then it gets wild all over again. And again the lyrics really speak for themselves. Theres nothing much to say about this song. Just definitely get this album if your interested in noisy/loud/GOOD punk rock music.

14. Search and Destroy
Yes it's a cover of The Stooges song!!! This was only available on the casette version with Skate Or Bate. Starts with jamming something and suddenly they start to play the song. They really made it their own. This is better than the Dead Boys' version. Tales didn't try to imitate Iggy's dog-like screams at all. It's better than Sid Vicious' version (wow really?), it's better than Radio Birdman's version. It's better than any version. All these other versions tried to imitate the original too much. This isn't like that at all. Totally Tales Of Terror style! Pat was just using his unique, raw, raspy voice. Iggy's version is a fucking classic, but yeah this one is fantastic aswell. One of the best songs ever written. Honey, I'm the world's forgotten boy.

EXTRA HULLABALOO!! Since Tales Of Terror just released one album, but had few songs released which were not included on the album, i desided to review them aswell here.

1. Gods From Outer Space This was originally on the compilation album "Trasher Skate Rock Vol. 2 - Blazing Wheels and Barking Trucks", released 1984. Starts with a kinda slow, hypnotic guitar playing which carries around through the whole song. Theres no vocals at all. Just one hypnotic jam.


2. Texas Against The World This and Danant and LSD For Africa where all from "Them Boners be Poppin'" compilation album, released in 1985. Starts kinda slow, bluesy jamming. Lots of noisy guitar strums included. Then it gets fast and loud. Sounds like a classic hardcore punk song. Insane soloing near the end till the end.



3. Danant This is an interesting one. Theres been said that the singer of Guns N Roses and The singer of Tales Of Terror, Rat's Ass hung out in LA before Axl became a rock star. And the GNR song "I Used To Love Her" has similiar lyrics as this song. In this version, the lyrics go

I had to kill her, because i loved her
I had to kill her, because i loved her
If i cannot have her, nobody else will
Thats why i had to, Thats why i had to kill

And the guns n roses one go:
I used to love her, but I had to kill her
I used to love her, but I had to kill her
I had to put her Six feet under
And I can still hear her complain

yeah it's not exactly the same, really similiar though and to know that Axl hung out with the Tales' singer and then wrote this song in 1988... well anyways the song starts with loud, raw, shitty guitar sound, which i like alot, then gets into the deep lyrics. "She broke my heart, she made me cry, thats why she had to die!" it has like 3 parts, first the slower one where he sings what i just wrote, then gets faster and then slows down and he sings how much he loved to kill her. My favorite Tales Of Terror song so far.

4. LSD For Africa A piss take on the Beatles classic "Let It Be" but the lyrics changed to "LSD.." hahaha thats genious. It's also played acoustic, really uncommon with Tales Of Terror, but obviously this wasn't done all serious. Sounds like if some drunk guy tried to sing Let It Be and all the rest of the guy's ruin the song by yelling LSD! when he trys to sing Let It Be...